Us and Them


	Why I do not like Weddings!
	It's Saturday morning, mid summer. I have checked the oil and water, but more importantly made sure there is the right amount of water in the hot water boiler. Switched on both the Fridge and boiler, coffee should be ready by the time I get to my Private Hire pick-up, and butties kept fresh in the fridge. I set off in my Leyland Tiger 51 seat exec. It was fitted with Toilet, Hot Water Boiler, Fridge, Video, the works (for the time). The family came out and boarded, about 16 in total, Mum Dad, Aunts Uncles, children and a baby, so off we go. I asked "Have you an address in Birmingham" "Yes" was the reply "It's a church on an island on the main road into Birmingham" Not a good start! I headed off down the M6. I did a stop at Keele for breakfast (this turned out to be a very smart move) coming off on to the A38M. Now we start looking for a church on an island. "There....There.....Over there, a church on an Island," I pulled in, out jumped. Son followed by the rest of the family, only Gran and Granddad left on board. Hold on, they are all coming back, YES wrong Church! There is another Island ...no church, there's a church .....no Island.......and on and on..........Then Church on an Island had to turn right pass the church " Stop....Stop church church "Yes right O.K. just leave it with me" (We'r still on a duel carrage way) next island about turn and into the church. Son off, check...Yes right church! But at this time no other guest's so I was able to turn round (It was a dead end). Coffee and a fag. I forgot to tell you that the Wedding was all Caribbean so time was not of the essence. After yet another coffee and a couple of cigs, a stretched Limo pulled in, dropping off guests etc. this Guy did about four trips, and I spent time trying to keep space for him to turn round. We had been there about an hour and half when the Limo came in on his last trip........The Bride!!......So all in church. At this point the Limo driver turn his car round, got out, lit a cig I don't think I've ever seen anybody need a drag as this Guy did, I asked him "Coffee" YES Please" I got on the coach, down to the back to the sink.............Hot water boiler EMPTY and tripped out, the sink was full of baby food, milk powder, so reset boiler and refill, start engine (Don't want a flat battery) clean up servery, then make coffee (It should have been tea with extra "OO"). Now the parties are coming out, can I take extra passengers to the reception? No problem, well there was one slight problem I didn’t know where the Botanical Gardens were. Enter the Limo driver - follow me. Now you can guess what comes next! No sir you can not stand and only ONE person to a seat. At last I got 51 passengers on, away we go. On arrival at the Botanical Gardens I turned in to a FULL car park sht! I just stopped and let the party off, now to park! A little to-ing and fro-ing and I'm between the rows of cars, Time for coffee and my Butties. Before I can get out of my seat, there is a knock at the door "Can you move please and let me out" "Sure" moved forward, car out, moved back. I think I was asked five times to do that so I turned green and tore off my shirt !! I spot a parking space, if I go forward turn right and reverse two wheels on kerb I am well out of the way. So this manoeuvre is carried out at some speed ( so nobody gets in my way)...... parked up at last, now for the coffee, I get up to go for some and...............'KIN HELL plus a whole string of expletives...........Second seat back near side a suitcase between the seats and THE BABY asleep on the seat!!!!!!!!!! How it slept through my shunting back and forth I don't know. Well let sleeping Babies lie! I didn't need the boiler to make any coffee, used the steam coming from my ears, any way, made some and went in the fridge for my snap, the Bloody fridge was EMPTY. some B****D had eaten my food (told you Keele was a smart move) I'm sat at the front (still fuming) when Mum walks over "What do you want? This is my time.” I pause “Or have you come for the BABY you left without telling me?" "Do you realise I could have locked the coach up and gone away from here, as we are not leaving for a couple of hours. And another thing some Bugger has eaten my food, so could you sort that out?” Ten minutes later a waitress came out "Will you eat out here or inside" "Out here please" She returned with a full chicken dinner plus a sweet................SORTED The return journey went with out a hitch but this is why I hate weddings!! have a story of your time on the buses then please let us know and we'll post it here. Many Thanks.
	Story by PSV Member Ian

Don't deny it. Even on a good day there is still that 'divide' between driver and passenger. The barrier is very rarely broken down and is normally used as a stick to beat each other with. Occasionally they surprise us, but not often. I find that if you view every member of the public as an arsehole you'll be just fine! Do you have any stories to redeem Joe Public? Have you, like me, encountered some of life's lovely people aboard your bus/coach? Here's one of mine.	1994 - Very hot in the cab, very hot outside the cab. I was so hot I felt sick. I had been through 3 bottles of water, my lunchbox was warm so my sandwiches had to be thrown away and to be honest, it was one of those 'line crossing' days. I stopped outside Newham Town Hall, opened the doors and on they got. As I shut the doors an elderly man walked back up to me and put a small white packet on the tray (no Cocaine jokes) and said, "You look hot and bothered girl, have that." I drove one handed with a smile - while I ate my choc ice.

Or, and this is more commonly the case, do you have a story that will curl our hair? Do you have a reason to hate the public? Was a member of the public the reason you gave it up? Here's my reason......	2003. I working on the 25's. One night, coming back from Oxford Circus, on my last run, the police had closed Mile End Road. A little boy had been killed by the flyover, so off on diversion we go. I told everyone on board what was going on and everyone understood - or so I thought. I got to the Stratford side of the flyover when a ginger bearded tosser comes flying down the bus and says, "What the fk was that all about?" "The road has been closed, a young lad has been killed so we went on diversion. I announced this to both decks." "I dont' give a ct. I am 40 minutes late now you stupid bitch. I don't give a fk who's dead. I want your company number and your name. This is bullst. I am fking late for work" At this point the hair on the back of my neck went up......Manda got angry. "Well, I dont' give a fk what you want pal. So, just take yourself, you sick attitude and fk off my bus before I kick you off. Personally." Two guys seated behind me offered to help. "I want answers and I want them now." Closing the cash tray, taking an Inspectors tickets and putting my log and time card away, I gave him the answer. "Everybody off." "You what? You can't kick me off, I pay your wages!" "What will I do without that pound? I wonder." "Do you want a fking slap?" I got out of the cab, he 'jumped' backwards and took up a 'Karate' stance. "Ladies and gentlemen, I do not get paid enough to listen to whining tossers like this, so if you want to blame someone for the service being withdrawn and a forty minute wait, he's here." and pointed at him. "I am calling the f**king police. You can't kick me off!" "I'll call them if you like." I offered. Two blokeys behind say, "If we kick him off, can we get going again?" "Sure! But we go nowhere with that on board." He flew off the bus, quite gracefully considering and off we went. When I got back to the yard I handed in my stuff, took myself off the rest of the week and handed in my notice. That was the very last time I drove a service bus. It was all rail rep after that.

I want to hear your stories, therapy for us all. I want to hear about good drivers too. We are passengers so share the happy stuff. See if the positive outweighs the negative.

US AND THEM

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Why I do not like Weddings!